The Most Popular Clothing Store That Makes Clothing A Good Thing

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A clothing store was robbed and vandalized last night. The store, located in Sunset Valley, was broken into at around midnight and the owner arrived to discover the place trashed.

The story is even more bizarre due to what else was stolen: a single sports bra and a pair of running shorts. No other items were taken from the building itself which prompted police to speculate that the criminal responsible had been too embarrassed to steal anything else from the store. The clothing store uses unusual mannequins to display their wares and it is speculated that this may have made the thief so uncomfortable they chose only to take the 2 items in question.

The store owner, Ursula Blanchard, says she didn’t count on her merchandise being stolen when she put up an ad looking for models. The consumer interest seemed to far outweigh the demand for hiring real models and as a result, Blanchard decided to use her mannequins as the stars of the store.

With no leads from the initial police report, Ursula Blanchard is wondering if the thief’s mocking taunt was more than just a random act of vandalism.

“It might be a good laugh for your readers, but I’m completely serious when I say that whoever stole my underwear is in some serious trouble”

she says, “I’m offering a $500 reward for their safe return. Try to imagine how mortifying it would be to lose your underwear in public like that.”

As of noon today there are still no leads on the whereabouts of Blanchard’s missing undergarments. She is asking anyone with information to please call the number below.

Don’t call the number. We’re going to find your underpants, Ms. Blanchard, and you’ll have them back soon enough. In fact, here’s a picture of us wearing them that we took before sending them off on their big date.

We’re not sure why they went to that Chinese restaurant, but they seemed pretty happy about it.

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